We are impatience. We like to rush all things. When I say ‘we’, I am definitely including myself here.
We like to enjoy the happy, fulfilling experiences of step 20, when we haven’t even gotten through step 1.
Emotions can’t be rushed. If we rush we just end up fighting the process. When you’re happy, be happy, be fully present with your happiness. When you’re sad/angry/depressed – be there. Don’t try to rush out of it. Sit with it. Explore it. Ask it questions. Reach out for help if you need to from a friend, counselor or another support person. But don’t lean on them as a way to avoid it.
When you rush the process, when you ignore it, avoid it, try to get over it, just get through it fast, you miss the lessons and wisdom it has to offer. Learn to love the in-between. The space where you remember the past when you were happy, and the space you want to be. Feel all of the emotions. Be fully present.
You will get out of that space. Like the Earth, we have seasons. Some seasons hold creativity and rebirth like Spring, l and some offer dark hibernation and rest like Winter. If you’re in Winter right now, it’s ok. Just like the snow, we can’t get through it faster, we can avoid it, we can plow it aside and pretend it isn’t there, or we can just acknowledge it, invite it into our lives and maybe find bits of light in.
When you’re in your winter, retreat, spend time by yourself, write, do yoga, scream, do whatever you must do to allow the emptiness in. To allow it to take you to rock bottom. To allow it the space it needs to unravel and release.
You will feel alone, you will feel like the world is crumbling around you. In the rubble of the life you had, you will rise again in spring, a whole new woman.
You can’t rise before you fall, and you can’t rush the process to get there. Avoiding pain only causes more pain. Stepping into the pain, though, that is where the magic can begin to take form. When you allow it in and get to know it, it releases it’s hold on you. That is when the peace begins seeping in again.